So. Pauline Kiernan's Filthy Shakespeare.
My thoughts on this are admittedly from the standpoint of a student with only books and the internet at her fingertips, not a doctorate in Classics, but the resources I am privy to feel rather sufficient to make my point. Additionally, I have a small soapbox to stand on in the sense that I am not at all offended by profanity or vulgarity, nor am I offended by the idea of Shakespeare as a sexual punster. I spent my teen years on 4chan. 'Nuff said.
Okay, to start, the book is not awful.
However, comma, it's not terribly good.
Shakespeare was a marvelous hand at punning. One of the funniest interchanges (with plenty of sexual innuendo) is a scene between Hamlet and Ophelia: the famous "country matters" skit. It's widely accepted that when Hamlet says "country matters" in dialogue, he is placing a particular, subtle emphasis on the first syllable; hence, "cuntry matters." Equally, when Hamlet says "nothing" in this dialogue he is most likely punning on "no thing;" i.e., female genitalia.
In the end, though, the author's attitude appears to lean more toward a desire to shock and titillate the reader than anything else. To use the Hamlet example again: I will concede that 'nunnery' may have been a slang on 'brothel'. Yet, instead of simply transcribing Hamlet's line, "To a nunnery, go," as "Get yourself to a brothel," the author cites Hamlet as really saying, "Fuck off to a whorehouse." This is demonstrated again in the next line, when Hamlet says, "We are arrant knaves, all," referring to his gender. The author cites this as, "We men are downright shits, all of us." The additional profanity is ludicrously unnecessary.
Many of the puns she suggests go beyond the realm of believability. For instance, she suggests that any word beginning with "con" or "coun" is a reference to "cunt," and that any mention of the name "Will" refers to (if you can believe it) "cunts" and "pricks" and "sexual desire."
However valid many of her points may be, as Shakespeare's plays do indeed contain a great deal of magnificent puns, sexual and otherwise, her attitude comes off as remarkably immature. You can see any amount of evidence if you look hard enough, and Kiernan has looked plenty hard. Instead of the voice of a respectable scholar, I hear the voice of a teenager tittering, "Tee hee, Shakespeare said penis." I am not alone in this opinion: one the world's most prominent Shakespeare scholars, Professor Stanley Wells, believes Kiernan to see subtext where there is none¹ (note that he is no prude, since he praises a three volume work on the history of sexual language in drama, and wrote his own book on the subject). I honestly think that the reason a book like Kiernan's was able to be published is because our modern sexual jokes have nothing to do with wit or creativity, and simply boil down to that "tee hee, penis" reaction.
Kiernan's research appears in-depth, but she stretches my suspension of belief. If we believe her, every single Shakespeare play is rife with references to cocks, vaginas, sodomy, and venereal diseases, and sexual references are apparently strewn over nearly every line. In the case that her suppositions about the true meaning of these words and puns are correct, I still hold that her excessive use of profanity to "translate" what Shakespeare was saying is unnecessary and over-the-top.
Elizabethan drama is bawdy, brilliant, and hilarious, if you know how to read it -- and I don't need Kiernan's hundred-and-one uses of the word "fuck" to tell me that.
¹ From: http://www.literateur.com/2009/07/stanle
My thoughts on this are admittedly from the standpoint of a student with only books and the internet at her fingertips, not a doctorate in Classics, but the resources I am privy to feel rather sufficient to make my point. Additionally, I have a small soapbox to stand on in the sense that I am not at all offended by profanity or vulgarity, nor am I offended by the idea of Shakespeare as a sexual punster. I spent my teen years on 4chan. 'Nuff said.
Okay, to start, the book is not awful.
However, comma, it's not terribly good.
Shakespeare was a marvelous hand at punning. One of the funniest interchanges (with plenty of sexual innuendo) is a scene between Hamlet and Ophelia: the famous "country matters" skit. It's widely accepted that when Hamlet says "country matters" in dialogue, he is placing a particular, subtle emphasis on the first syllable; hence, "cuntry matters." Equally, when Hamlet says "nothing" in this dialogue he is most likely punning on "no thing;" i.e., female genitalia.
In the end, though, the author's attitude appears to lean more toward a desire to shock and titillate the reader than anything else. To use the Hamlet example again: I will concede that 'nunnery' may have been a slang on 'brothel'. Yet, instead of simply transcribing Hamlet's line, "To a nunnery, go," as "Get yourself to a brothel," the author cites Hamlet as really saying, "Fuck off to a whorehouse." This is demonstrated again in the next line, when Hamlet says, "We are arrant knaves, all," referring to his gender. The author cites this as, "We men are downright shits, all of us." The additional profanity is ludicrously unnecessary.
Many of the puns she suggests go beyond the realm of believability. For instance, she suggests that any word beginning with "con" or "coun" is a reference to "cunt," and that any mention of the name "Will" refers to (if you can believe it) "cunts" and "pricks" and "sexual desire."
However valid many of her points may be, as Shakespeare's plays do indeed contain a great deal of magnificent puns, sexual and otherwise, her attitude comes off as remarkably immature. You can see any amount of evidence if you look hard enough, and Kiernan has looked plenty hard. Instead of the voice of a respectable scholar, I hear the voice of a teenager tittering, "Tee hee, Shakespeare said penis." I am not alone in this opinion: one the world's most prominent Shakespeare scholars, Professor Stanley Wells, believes Kiernan to see subtext where there is none¹ (note that he is no prude, since he praises a three volume work on the history of sexual language in drama, and wrote his own book on the subject). I honestly think that the reason a book like Kiernan's was able to be published is because our modern sexual jokes have nothing to do with wit or creativity, and simply boil down to that "tee hee, penis" reaction.
Kiernan's research appears in-depth, but she stretches my suspension of belief. If we believe her, every single Shakespeare play is rife with references to cocks, vaginas, sodomy, and venereal diseases, and sexual references are apparently strewn over nearly every line. In the case that her suppositions about the true meaning of these words and puns are correct, I still hold that her excessive use of profanity to "translate" what Shakespeare was saying is unnecessary and over-the-top.
Elizabethan drama is bawdy, brilliant, and hilarious, if you know how to read it -- and I don't need Kiernan's hundred-and-one uses of the word "fuck" to tell me that.
¹ From: http://www.literateur.com/2009/07/stanle
(WARNING! Because I know there are some under aged people reading this blog who probably don't want to know the petty details of my sex life, this is my only word of caution! Read if ye dare, and I hold no responsibility for mental scarring if you ignore it! >:/ )
( Safety cut! )
( Safety cut! )
[ETA for anyone coming here from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
crowdfunding : This is my alternate/mirror journal, so all of my readership is active on the other blog. The same posts show up at both of them -- this is just a heads up as to why very few comments appear on this one. :) ]
I'm going to be trying something new!
In response to the new trend of cyber-funded creativity, I'm going to do a little experiment of sorts on my blog. I know my readership is small, and their wallets primarily empty (or saved for more important things) -- which is why it's an experiment. I'm calling it Poem Busking.
Twice a week, likely on Tuesdays and Fridays, I will be posting a poem. Along with the poem will be a Paypal Donate button. (Paypal is not the only way, since most of my readers know me personally; I'll probably stick a Busking Jar in the house somewhere for the same purpose. With the first poem, I'll give a brief of how to use Paypal -- which does not require an account to donate.) After reading the poem, you're invited to toss a few dollars into the pot.
Here's the catch. The money isn't for me.
Every penny donated, as well as additional money from myself (and hopefully my family), is going to be donated to PFLAG Canada -- to quote their website, they are "Canada's only national organization that helps all Canadians who are struggling with issues of sexual orientation and gender identity. PFLAG Canada supports, educates and provides resources to parents, families, friends and colleagues with questions or concerns, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
Few things push my activism buttons more than homophobia. I am one of the lucky ones; despite being harassed by a church congregation as a preteen for being a "sinner" and a "deviant", my immediate family have always supported me. The group of friends I hold now respect me just as much as any other member of the group, and that respect is not based on whether I'm straight or queer. Even though we don't agree on a lot of things, I'm also blessed by Christian friends who accept the person I am. Worldwide, however, most people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, transgendered, intersex, asexual, queer, or just questioning are not so fortunate. Being one of the lucky ones, I felt it was the time to give back -- and you folks being the awesome people you are, I figured you would want a chance to get in on the action.
Starting this Friday, two poems will go up every week, either until I run out of poems or the energy to write new ones. All readers, whether you contribute or not, are welcome to comment on any post with ideas for new poems -- whether the ideas are in the form of a concept, a word, a prompt, or a neat image. Whatever amount is raised, unless it soars to crazy heights, I will match. If it does soar to crazy heights, I will still put out $50 at the very least.
We can make the world a little nicer place to live in... one poem -- and one dollar -- at a time. Who's with me? :D
crowdfunding : This is my alternate/mirror journal, so all of my readership is active on the other blog. The same posts show up at both of them -- this is just a heads up as to why very few comments appear on this one. :) ]I'm going to be trying something new!
In response to the new trend of cyber-funded creativity, I'm going to do a little experiment of sorts on my blog. I know my readership is small, and their wallets primarily empty (or saved for more important things) -- which is why it's an experiment. I'm calling it Poem Busking.
Twice a week, likely on Tuesdays and Fridays, I will be posting a poem. Along with the poem will be a Paypal Donate button. (Paypal is not the only way, since most of my readers know me personally; I'll probably stick a Busking Jar in the house somewhere for the same purpose. With the first poem, I'll give a brief of how to use Paypal -- which does not require an account to donate.) After reading the poem, you're invited to toss a few dollars into the pot.
Here's the catch. The money isn't for me.
Every penny donated, as well as additional money from myself (and hopefully my family), is going to be donated to PFLAG Canada -- to quote their website, they are "Canada's only national organization that helps all Canadians who are struggling with issues of sexual orientation and gender identity. PFLAG Canada supports, educates and provides resources to parents, families, friends and colleagues with questions or concerns, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
Few things push my activism buttons more than homophobia. I am one of the lucky ones; despite being harassed by a church congregation as a preteen for being a "sinner" and a "deviant", my immediate family have always supported me. The group of friends I hold now respect me just as much as any other member of the group, and that respect is not based on whether I'm straight or queer. Even though we don't agree on a lot of things, I'm also blessed by Christian friends who accept the person I am. Worldwide, however, most people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, transgendered, intersex, asexual, queer, or just questioning are not so fortunate. Being one of the lucky ones, I felt it was the time to give back -- and you folks being the awesome people you are, I figured you would want a chance to get in on the action.
Starting this Friday, two poems will go up every week, either until I run out of poems or the energy to write new ones. All readers, whether you contribute or not, are welcome to comment on any post with ideas for new poems -- whether the ideas are in the form of a concept, a word, a prompt, or a neat image. Whatever amount is raised, unless it soars to crazy heights, I will match. If it does soar to crazy heights, I will still put out $50 at the very least.
We can make the world a little nicer place to live in... one poem -- and one dollar -- at a time. Who's with me? :D
The official TMI Tuesday questions have been really... boring lately. Most certainly not under the umbrella of TMI, in most cases. So I'm going to combine a couple of the recent ones that I thought were good, and then tack a sexuality meme onto the end. TMI for everyone!
***
1. Don't tell us what it is, but do you have a sexual secret you have never told anyone?
Yup!
2. Do you have a nonsexual secret you have never told anyone?
Of course.
3. Tell us a secret someone told you, however along ago, that you've never told. (You can disguise name or details.)
Once upon a time, someone told me about the time their significant other got them drunk and took advantage of them. I was rather horrified, since I knew the SO and never thought s/he was capable of that sort of manipulation.
4. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex?
There was some kissing and grabby hands, but I don't think I would have called any of them a bona fide sexual experience. In all honesty, I've fooled around with girls more than I have with males. What a surprise.
5. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer?
This is a hard one to answer. I, by nature, am a chickenshit. However, comma, in a hypothetical sexual situation I would almost always be (or be attempting to be) the dom. Even if I was in the "female" role, I'd probably be orchestrating, for lack of a better term. It's a control thing, I think.
6. Would you/have you ever had a threesome?
I have not. But I'm not at all opposed to the idea, should the occasion arise. (Which is another way of saying that it's very unlikely, but I'll try most things once.)
7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn ons?
Are corsets out of the ordinary? (I get a bit of a turn on when I'm wearing one, and corsets on others is just as lovely.) Or long hair? Leather is one of mine, but I know that's a common one. Tattoos. One that Muse taught me the word for: autogynephillia. Related to that, genderfuckery (that is to say, males in feminine situations or females in masculine situations, or crossdressing, for instance). Albinism. (Yes, really! Probably my weirdest one.) Scars. Masks (I'm sure zeppelinphan will agree with me on this one! *grin*).
***
And here's the sexuality meme.
***
Are you open with your sexuality? Or is it a secret?
I am very open about my sexuality, as the Serious Crew will attest. I came out officially (and in a rather humorous way, courtesy of zeppelinphan) last summer -- and never regretted it for a moment.
Who was the 1st person you told that you’re a lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered?
CharlieWilcox. *laughs* I sent her an email when I was 11 or 12 that said only, "I think I'm gay." She calmed me down and tried to convince me I would grow out of it. Really, Charlie dear? Really? :P
Is your hair short, medium, or long?
It's an indeterminate length between medium and long. Dry, it's 24 inches long (which equates to about an inch or two below my bra strap).
Would you ever shave your head?
When I'm done growing my hair out to my ass, sure.
Do you own anything with the gay rainbow on it?
LOL. The rainbow tattoo, maybe? And that glass candy cane that Muse bought for me.
Do you consider yourself a Stud, Androgynous, Femme, Butch, Bear, Prissy, etc.?
*IS TOTALLY A STUD* Androgynous. I've got equal measures of femme and butch, depending on how much of a man I feel like on a given day. I can easily switch from lounging around in boxers with a beer to delicately applying makeup in five minutes flat.
What type of females/males are you most attracted to?
In females, I'm really not that picky. As long as they're not grossly overweight or anything, it doesn't matter -- a certain personality type doesn't really stand out to me (excepting twinks, in which case the reaction is GETITAWAY). However, I will admit to being fascinated by butch girls (especially lesbians obviously), because genderfuckery makes me squee. In males... I'm more picky. Long hair grabs my attention right away. Like, I will stop and stare and probably drool if it's past the shoulder blades. I'm more inclined towards slender males, especially ones that tend towards androgyny. Conversely though, I really like facial hair. Tattoos on both genders are also excellent.
What FAMOUS lesbian is your favorite?
I don't really keep track of famous people. *takes a moment to Google* Melissa Etheridge or k.d. lang. Or Sappho. ;D
Who is your favorite FAMOUS gay man?
Leonardo da Vinci or Michelangelo. *Googles again* Or, I dunno, David Bowie. Probably for the sole reason that he was an androgynous Goblin King in a movie I actually liked, Labyrinth.
Do you like watching The L Word?
The what?
Did you ever watch Queer as Folk?
Who now?
What is your favorite gay themed movie?
I uh. My god, I don't think I've ever watched a gay themed movie. (I'm not counting porn, guys, so don't say a word.) Suggestions please! Also, for the record, I shouldn't be allowed near the internet this late at night. I actually Googled "gay movies" without even thinking. Then pressed the Back button a lot.
Do you have any Pride tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
I do indeed. Rainbows ftw!
Do you go to GLBT friendly clubs?
I certainly will when I'm of legal age.
Would you ever be a Drag King/Queen? (If you’re not already)
Would I? That's like asking if I would ever breathe. Hell yes. I joke about doing it, even to the point of joking about getting a sex change just so I can be a drag queen, but I'm actually not kidding when I say that.
What name would you go by if you did do Drag?
Mundane name would be Kevin. I have no idea what my show name would be if I was a King, or if I actually did the sex-change-Queen thing. I'm a writer. I'll think of something. *grin*
Have you ever been mistaken for a Male/Female (opposite of your actual gender)?
Yes, but if the reaction was intentional (ie, in reaction to crossdressing) does it count?
Would you ever have a sex change to become a Male/Female?
To be non-sexed, yes. Breast and uterus removal, certainly; I don't think I'd go so far as to have male parts attached, but I'd get treatments for a deeper voice and such.
How do you feel about Homophobia/Transphobia?
I think it's horrible, and occasionally forgivable. But come on. We're people too.
How do you feel about GLBT folks having children?
What's wrong with it? If they're good parents, I have no issues with it. There's some slippery issues like the child's identity, and possible teasing for having two dads, for instance, but kids will be cruel no matter the family situation.
If it were legal, would you marry a person of the same sex?
It is legal, in my country. And yes.
Have you ever attended a Gay Pride Festival?
Twice! And it will be three times, as of this summer.
Do you wear make-up?
Yes.
Do you carry a wallet - or a purse?
Wallet more often than purse. It's just bulky and in the way if I don't need to bring a book with me.
Do you wear Male or Female clothes?
Equal amounts of both.
Do you prefer wearing cologne or perfume?
Either.
Do you have several piercings & tattoos?
No piercings (yet). Six tattoos.
Do you have a crush on a female and/or male celebrity, if so, who?
I had the biggest obsession with Bill Kaulitz, because he was so feminine looking. Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a female celebrity.
Do you have more GLBT friends than you do Straight friends?
Most of them are at least marginally bi-curious, so I suppose I can say yes to that.
Have you ever been gay bashed?
Ha. Ha ha. After growing up under forced Christianization by a well meaning but fundamentalist friend, the answer is most unequivocally yes.
Did anyone stop having contact with you after you came out of the closet?
The above mentioned Christian friend -- she says she still wants to see me, but I'd feel awkward about it anyways. I miss her, but we're in different places now. I draw naked pin up girls, she loves Jesus. I'm not saying the two can't be mutually inclusive, but not for her.
What is your favorite GLBT quote?
All of them. No, I'm serious. If I have to pick one, the last one that made me laugh out loud was: "It's no wonder we know how to dress; we've spent centuries in closets." - Isaac Mizrahi
Do you believe you were born a G L B or T?
Most definitely. Whatever it is that I am -- lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, transsexual -- my brain was wired for it from the start.
Are you proud? Or ashamed of your sexuality/gender identity?
I am proud like nobody's business. Anyone can be queer, but it takes a special person to be queer and fabulous.
***
1. Don't tell us what it is, but do you have a sexual secret you have never told anyone?
Yup!
2. Do you have a nonsexual secret you have never told anyone?
Of course.
3. Tell us a secret someone told you, however along ago, that you've never told. (You can disguise name or details.)
Once upon a time, someone told me about the time their significant other got them drunk and took advantage of them. I was rather horrified, since I knew the SO and never thought s/he was capable of that sort of manipulation.
4. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex?
There was some kissing and grabby hands, but I don't think I would have called any of them a bona fide sexual experience. In all honesty, I've fooled around with girls more than I have with males. What a surprise.
5. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer?
This is a hard one to answer. I, by nature, am a chickenshit. However, comma, in a hypothetical sexual situation I would almost always be (or be attempting to be) the dom. Even if I was in the "female" role, I'd probably be orchestrating, for lack of a better term. It's a control thing, I think.
6. Would you/have you ever had a threesome?
I have not. But I'm not at all opposed to the idea, should the occasion arise. (Which is another way of saying that it's very unlikely, but I'll try most things once.)
7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn ons?
Are corsets out of the ordinary? (I get a bit of a turn on when I'm wearing one, and corsets on others is just as lovely.) Or long hair? Leather is one of mine, but I know that's a common one. Tattoos. One that Muse taught me the word for: autogynephillia. Related to that, genderfuckery (that is to say, males in feminine situations or females in masculine situations, or crossdressing, for instance). Albinism. (Yes, really! Probably my weirdest one.) Scars. Masks (I'm sure zeppelinphan will agree with me on this one! *grin*).
***
And here's the sexuality meme.
***
Are you open with your sexuality? Or is it a secret?
I am very open about my sexuality, as the Serious Crew will attest. I came out officially (and in a rather humorous way, courtesy of zeppelinphan) last summer -- and never regretted it for a moment.
Who was the 1st person you told that you’re a lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered?
CharlieWilcox. *laughs* I sent her an email when I was 11 or 12 that said only, "I think I'm gay." She calmed me down and tried to convince me I would grow out of it. Really, Charlie dear? Really? :P
Is your hair short, medium, or long?
It's an indeterminate length between medium and long. Dry, it's 24 inches long (which equates to about an inch or two below my bra strap).
Would you ever shave your head?
When I'm done growing my hair out to my ass, sure.
Do you own anything with the gay rainbow on it?
LOL. The rainbow tattoo, maybe? And that glass candy cane that Muse bought for me.
Do you consider yourself a Stud, Androgynous, Femme, Butch, Bear, Prissy, etc.?
What type of females/males are you most attracted to?
In females, I'm really not that picky. As long as they're not grossly overweight or anything, it doesn't matter -- a certain personality type doesn't really stand out to me (excepting twinks, in which case the reaction is GETITAWAY). However, I will admit to being fascinated by butch girls (especially lesbians obviously), because genderfuckery makes me squee. In males... I'm more picky. Long hair grabs my attention right away. Like, I will stop and stare and probably drool if it's past the shoulder blades. I'm more inclined towards slender males, especially ones that tend towards androgyny. Conversely though, I really like facial hair. Tattoos on both genders are also excellent.
What FAMOUS lesbian is your favorite?
I don't really keep track of famous people. *takes a moment to Google* Melissa Etheridge or k.d. lang. Or Sappho. ;D
Who is your favorite FAMOUS gay man?
Leonardo da Vinci or Michelangelo. *Googles again* Or, I dunno, David Bowie. Probably for the sole reason that he was an androgynous Goblin King in a movie I actually liked, Labyrinth.
Do you like watching The L Word?
The what?
Did you ever watch Queer as Folk?
Who now?
What is your favorite gay themed movie?
I uh. My god, I don't think I've ever watched a gay themed movie. (I'm not counting porn, guys, so don't say a word.) Suggestions please! Also, for the record, I shouldn't be allowed near the internet this late at night. I actually Googled "gay movies" without even thinking. Then pressed the Back button a lot.
Do you have any Pride tattoos? If not, would you ever get one?
I do indeed. Rainbows ftw!
Do you go to GLBT friendly clubs?
I certainly will when I'm of legal age.
Would you ever be a Drag King/Queen? (If you’re not already)
Would I? That's like asking if I would ever breathe. Hell yes. I joke about doing it, even to the point of joking about getting a sex change just so I can be a drag queen, but I'm actually not kidding when I say that.
What name would you go by if you did do Drag?
Mundane name would be Kevin. I have no idea what my show name would be if I was a King, or if I actually did the sex-change-Queen thing. I'm a writer. I'll think of something. *grin*
Have you ever been mistaken for a Male/Female (opposite of your actual gender)?
Yes, but if the reaction was intentional (ie, in reaction to crossdressing) does it count?
Would you ever have a sex change to become a Male/Female?
To be non-sexed, yes. Breast and uterus removal, certainly; I don't think I'd go so far as to have male parts attached, but I'd get treatments for a deeper voice and such.
How do you feel about Homophobia/Transphobia?
I think it's horrible, and occasionally forgivable. But come on. We're people too.
How do you feel about GLBT folks having children?
What's wrong with it? If they're good parents, I have no issues with it. There's some slippery issues like the child's identity, and possible teasing for having two dads, for instance, but kids will be cruel no matter the family situation.
If it were legal, would you marry a person of the same sex?
It is legal, in my country. And yes.
Have you ever attended a Gay Pride Festival?
Twice! And it will be three times, as of this summer.
Do you wear make-up?
Yes.
Do you carry a wallet - or a purse?
Wallet more often than purse. It's just bulky and in the way if I don't need to bring a book with me.
Do you wear Male or Female clothes?
Equal amounts of both.
Do you prefer wearing cologne or perfume?
Either.
Do you have several piercings & tattoos?
No piercings (yet). Six tattoos.
Do you have a crush on a female and/or male celebrity, if so, who?
I had the biggest obsession with Bill Kaulitz, because he was so feminine looking. Strangely enough, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a female celebrity.
Do you have more GLBT friends than you do Straight friends?
Most of them are at least marginally bi-curious, so I suppose I can say yes to that.
Have you ever been gay bashed?
Ha. Ha ha. After growing up under forced Christianization by a well meaning but fundamentalist friend, the answer is most unequivocally yes.
Did anyone stop having contact with you after you came out of the closet?
The above mentioned Christian friend -- she says she still wants to see me, but I'd feel awkward about it anyways. I miss her, but we're in different places now. I draw naked pin up girls, she loves Jesus. I'm not saying the two can't be mutually inclusive, but not for her.
What is your favorite GLBT quote?
All of them. No, I'm serious. If I have to pick one, the last one that made me laugh out loud was: "It's no wonder we know how to dress; we've spent centuries in closets." - Isaac Mizrahi
Do you believe you were born a G L B or T?
Most definitely. Whatever it is that I am -- lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, transsexual -- my brain was wired for it from the start.
Are you proud? Or ashamed of your sexuality/gender identity?
I am proud like nobody's business. Anyone can be queer, but it takes a special person to be queer and fabulous.
1. What do you think is the un-sexiest part of the body?
I'm going to agree with zeppelinphan on this one: the genitals. Sure, they're physiologically important, but aesthetically, they're just not attractive. (This goes for either gender.)
2. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
My obsessive tendencies say "over". My sense of logic says "what the fuck does it matter?"
3. Have you ever called in sick to stay in bed with a sexual partner?
Asexual virgin. Not applicable.
4. Did your parents have a "birds & bees" talk with you? If so, at what age?
Nope, but not for lack of trying on my mother's part. Somehow, by not reading any children's guides or seeing any instructive films, I managed to figure it out on my own -- imagine that. She seemed taken aback when I told her, "Yeah, I already know."
5. What is one thing a someone could do to you to rock your world?
Rock my world, as in, do something completely awesome for me? A prime example would be like yesterday, when zeppelinphan and charliewilcox risked getting my illness to try to cheer me up... that was seriously awesome. I never expected that anyone would do something like that for me. In all honesty, because of my social ineptitude, I love gifts but get incredibly flustered about accepting them, so people who try to do nice things for me just have to be persistent.
Bonus (as in optional): What does sex mean to you?
Its a biological process designed to pass on genes to the next generation, and an interesting dynamic to explore in fiction. Seriously. As an asexual, sex has no real bearing on my life, whether for recreation or procreation -- I joke about it a lot, as well as write about it, but I honestly give it less thought than I give to, say, the life span of dung beetles in captivity. And, being an asexual with mute genital nerves, the dung beetle analogy also relates to about how appealing the act is.
To use a cliche (and make a bad pun while I'm at it): different strokes for different folks. Just ain't my thing.
I'm going to agree with zeppelinphan on this one: the genitals. Sure, they're physiologically important, but aesthetically, they're just not attractive. (This goes for either gender.)
2. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
My obsessive tendencies say "over". My sense of logic says "what the fuck does it matter?"
3. Have you ever called in sick to stay in bed with a sexual partner?
Asexual virgin. Not applicable.
4. Did your parents have a "birds & bees" talk with you? If so, at what age?
Nope, but not for lack of trying on my mother's part. Somehow, by not reading any children's guides or seeing any instructive films, I managed to figure it out on my own -- imagine that. She seemed taken aback when I told her, "Yeah, I already know."
5. What is one thing a someone could do to you to rock your world?
Rock my world, as in, do something completely awesome for me? A prime example would be like yesterday, when zeppelinphan and charliewilcox risked getting my illness to try to cheer me up... that was seriously awesome. I never expected that anyone would do something like that for me. In all honesty, because of my social ineptitude, I love gifts but get incredibly flustered about accepting them, so people who try to do nice things for me just have to be persistent.
Bonus (as in optional): What does sex mean to you?
Its a biological process designed to pass on genes to the next generation, and an interesting dynamic to explore in fiction. Seriously. As an asexual, sex has no real bearing on my life, whether for recreation or procreation -- I joke about it a lot, as well as write about it, but I honestly give it less thought than I give to, say, the life span of dung beetles in captivity. And, being an asexual with mute genital nerves, the dung beetle analogy also relates to about how appealing the act is.
To use a cliche (and make a bad pun while I'm at it): different strokes for different folks. Just ain't my thing.
I'm skipping this week's TMI Tuesday, because it is not in any stretch of the imagination "TMI". I'm disappointed! To make up for it, I will share a most remarkable discovery.
Earlier tonight, I was browsing around the internet -- like usual. Visited the same websites, some work safe, some decidedly not... when I stumbled across something that actually made my jaw drop.
We all know pornography. There's good porn, bad porn, straight porn, gay porn. Whatever you can imagine, someone out there has filmed it. I knew pornography existed decades ago, but I was still astonished when I discovered...
...silent porn. I mean in the "silent movie" sense, filmed in the 1920's, with text placards and everything. But porn.
And not just regular pornography-- silent lesbian pornography.
There's my brain-breaking moment for today. Enjoy!
Earlier tonight, I was browsing around the internet -- like usual. Visited the same websites, some work safe, some decidedly not... when I stumbled across something that actually made my jaw drop.
We all know pornography. There's good porn, bad porn, straight porn, gay porn. Whatever you can imagine, someone out there has filmed it. I knew pornography existed decades ago, but I was still astonished when I discovered...
...silent porn. I mean in the "silent movie" sense, filmed in the 1920's, with text placards and everything. But porn.
And not just regular pornography-- silent lesbian pornography.
There's my brain-breaking moment for today. Enjoy!
1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?
Oh, sure. When I was a Christian. Even though things are the same physically (i.e. - none to very few nerves where it counts), nowadays my feelings after sexual experiences are in the apathy or exasperation phylum. (To clarify, no part of anyone else has found its way inside me, or vice versa. Technical virgin, if you want to call it that.)
2. Did you ever own a fake ID?
Nope.
3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?
Occasionally. And its usually quite without thinking -- most of the time, I don't know its a white lie until much later. The way my memory works, I can't trust it. I block some things out and remember some things as being much larger. Most people would think this means I elaborate on the truth and make dramatics where there were none, but let me give an example of the opposite. While I know I've been in and out of mental health faculties and psychiatrist offices since I was 11, I didn't know until recently just how intensive this period of my life was: I entirely blocked out numerous doctor's visits and nearly being forced away from my parents and into a restricted ward of the Eric Martin Mental Institution. On the other hand, yes, I will admit I have elaborated the truth on occasion -- as do we all. I'm never proud of it. I prefer truth to impressing others.
4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?
Fairly well, I'd say. I take non-constructive criticism very badly -- "You're out of shape." "I don't like this drawing. Your aliens are silly."
But constructive criticism is easier: "That foot looks off. I think you might need to pivot the angle a bit." "This character seems a little dull, like he doesn't react to things normally. Try giving him more emotion." "Your feet are slapping against the ground too hard. Make your stride a little looser, see if that's easier on them."
5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?
Not all of it -- that just grosses me out. Its like proclaiming, "Hey! I like my genitalia to look like a pre-pubescent girl's! Woo hoo!" But I've trimmed (mostly for bathing suits).
Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?
I'm honestly not sure, since I've never actually heard of a "friends with benefits" relationship working outside of fiction. I think the percentage of women who are capable of handling it would be very small indeed, and the percentage of men slightly larger. From my point of view, this is because (very much in general!) women are more about meaningful, committed relationships than they are about sex without strings attached. Mind you, my point of view is extremely limited, stemming from an isolated lifestyle in a small town for less than 18 years. The stereotypes are different the world over -- I really don't have an answer for this one. I'm curious.
Oh, sure. When I was a Christian. Even though things are the same physically (i.e. - none to very few nerves where it counts), nowadays my feelings after sexual experiences are in the apathy or exasperation phylum. (To clarify, no part of anyone else has found its way inside me, or vice versa. Technical virgin, if you want to call it that.)
2. Did you ever own a fake ID?
Nope.
3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?
Occasionally. And its usually quite without thinking -- most of the time, I don't know its a white lie until much later. The way my memory works, I can't trust it. I block some things out and remember some things as being much larger. Most people would think this means I elaborate on the truth and make dramatics where there were none, but let me give an example of the opposite. While I know I've been in and out of mental health faculties and psychiatrist offices since I was 11, I didn't know until recently just how intensive this period of my life was: I entirely blocked out numerous doctor's visits and nearly being forced away from my parents and into a restricted ward of the Eric Martin Mental Institution. On the other hand, yes, I will admit I have elaborated the truth on occasion -- as do we all. I'm never proud of it. I prefer truth to impressing others.
4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?
Fairly well, I'd say. I take non-constructive criticism very badly -- "You're out of shape." "I don't like this drawing. Your aliens are silly."
But constructive criticism is easier: "That foot looks off. I think you might need to pivot the angle a bit." "This character seems a little dull, like he doesn't react to things normally. Try giving him more emotion." "Your feet are slapping against the ground too hard. Make your stride a little looser, see if that's easier on them."
5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?
Not all of it -- that just grosses me out. Its like proclaiming, "Hey! I like my genitalia to look like a pre-pubescent girl's! Woo hoo!" But I've trimmed (mostly for bathing suits).
Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?
I'm honestly not sure, since I've never actually heard of a "friends with benefits" relationship working outside of fiction. I think the percentage of women who are capable of handling it would be very small indeed, and the percentage of men slightly larger. From my point of view, this is because (very much in general!) women are more about meaningful, committed relationships than they are about sex without strings attached. Mind you, my point of view is extremely limited, stemming from an isolated lifestyle in a small town for less than 18 years. The stereotypes are different the world over -- I really don't have an answer for this one. I'm curious.
Laura and I were on my lawn this evening while the rest of the gang went to the park, and as Will left we were joking about having sex with each other. We both admitted we were sort of turned off by "mouth to vag" but were still playing the horndog for each other. When the mosquitoes started coming out we went to my room, where things were a little awkward. We both admitted we wanted to instigate something but were both too chickenshit to make the first move. We want something to happen, to do something we may or may not regret (that's half the fun) but we both knew we were too nervous to be the one to start it. There was a little grabby hands, but that's it.
I like Laura, I honestly do. Its not a "I've got an emo crush" sort of like, or even a "I'm in love" sort of like, but just... I like her. She's my friend, she's beautiful, and she's curious. I'm sort of sheepish about not making a move on her when I had the chance, although Shannon and Rachel came back and interrupted us just before we were actually about to make the grabby hands a little more personal. I'm delighted at the fact that she's completely willing to experiment with me and all that, but we're both too chickenshit to be the instigator.
I talked with Chris about it, and we both agreed I should take it really slow, but it would be a good idea to man up and make with the seducing. Maybe I should buy her a rose or something when I'm out in Sidney later... anyways, the main thing is, I don't want to ruin our friendship, whatever happens below the belt or above the neck. I want to make sure she's comfortable, isn't being turned off chicks forever, and still respects me as a person even if it doesn't work out as well as I'd hoped.
Y HELO THAR LESBIANISM
ITS BEEN A WHILE.
HOW R U?
I like Laura, I honestly do. Its not a "I've got an emo crush" sort of like, or even a "I'm in love" sort of like, but just... I like her. She's my friend, she's beautiful, and she's curious. I'm sort of sheepish about not making a move on her when I had the chance, although Shannon and Rachel came back and interrupted us just before we were actually about to make the grabby hands a little more personal. I'm delighted at the fact that she's completely willing to experiment with me and all that, but we're both too chickenshit to be the instigator.
I talked with Chris about it, and we both agreed I should take it really slow, but it would be a good idea to man up and make with the seducing. Maybe I should buy her a rose or something when I'm out in Sidney later... anyways, the main thing is, I don't want to ruin our friendship, whatever happens below the belt or above the neck. I want to make sure she's comfortable, isn't being turned off chicks forever, and still respects me as a person even if it doesn't work out as well as I'd hoped.
Y HELO THAR LESBIANISM
ITS BEEN A WHILE.
HOW R U?
The inspiration for this post stemmed partially from a discussion on the PDForums. The original poster had babbled something mostly incoherent, but I caught the gist of it after a few people replied, and so crafted my own sentiment.
In response to this: "About 99.9% of my thoughts are in words, and I find it an infuriating handicap in certain situations (art and music are utterly foreign to my brain). In other situations, it makes me look like a genius.
My little brother was diagnosed with autism (the diagnosis was later changed to Asperger's, but never mind), and I know he thinks in images. Ever since he was old enough to hold a pen, has has spent his spare time drawing pictures of things that interest him, and no one has ever had to ask him, "what's this a picture of?", because he can represent his thoughts in visual form effortlessly. The only thing he struggles to draw is humans." I replied thusly...
I'm in the process of being diagnosed with Aspergers -- the doctors all believe I have it, but its just a matter of time to get tested. I was struck by the comment about your little brother, since I think in the same format. Perhaps its a common denominator in the disorder. I've always had difficulty communicating and putting my thoughts into words, because in my head, its all images. I'm able to attach symbols - words - to the images in some cases, which allows me to speak and write somewhat accurately, but I get incredibly frustrated when there simply aren't words for the things in my head. I also have synesthesia (which is very common in Aspergers patients) which means when I hear names, numbers or music, smell or see certain things, I get bursts of colour or patterns or beats behind my eyes. I'm a semi-professional artist myself, and while I can draw the human form, I can't draw expressions reliably. The only way I can express emotion on paper is with color or pattern.
Words -- to get back on the OP's topic -- can be equally confining and freeing. Its fascinating the way they change over time, and can mean something completely different in two cities, only a few hundred miles away. An example: when chatting with friends from afar, I came to use the term "macking" like they did, to mean something like chilling out, bumming around, being comfortably lazy. Recently I discovered when using the term to a local friend, that here its basically come to mean "communal fapping" or some such. A little embarrassing at the time.
Discussions like this always make me wonder about alien races. (Stick with me here... I'm not a kook, I swear.) Obviously if there are other species in the universe -- quite likely -- they'll have immensely different physiologies to say the least, let alone their methods of communication. There could plausibly be species that communicate with images alone, in ancient times drawn on soil and stone, and in the future with modern imaging software. Perhaps there might be a race that communicates images and smells through a form of telepathy. I don't think words, as we know them, are necessary for communication. I've found its almost easier to communicate with gestures and instrumental sounds (tapping, clicking, humming) than it is to lay down words in a developed language.
Discovering words allowed us to put names to things, to label and own them, to take away their mystery. Sometimes words, even if in another language, can name things you only had a mental concept for, and it can be a liberating experience. When I discovered the French term l'appell du vide, I had a name for the bizzare urge that comes when you're standing at the edge of a cliff, looking down, and wonder what it would feel like to jump. Not to die... just to leap. (Literally, "the call of the void". It can be used not only in its metaphorical form but also literally -- the call of the unknown, the search for the mystery, the exhilaration of the darkness beyond reality when something calls your name.)
But words can also limit. Everyone's had that moment where they stop, mid sentence, and grope for a word that doesn't exist. Perhaps it doesn't exist in the language you're using, or in any language at all. Its in your head, you know the concept exists, but there is no word for it. In this world, its nearly impossible to explain a concept that doesn't have a word attached to it -- the only way you can do it is to use dozens of other words in a roundabout way to describe what it sort of is and sort of isn't. And even then, some people just won't have that concept in their repertoire, and still won't understand.
tl'dr summary: words words words and irony. I have to bugger off and drive into the city now, but I'll be thinking about this. Thanks, OP, for bringing it up!
Words. Verbal language; my bane. There are very few situations between humans which do not involve some form of lingual communication. For many people, myself included, English is an utterly inadequate language. In fact, any language spoken or written on this planet is inadequate. There is a barely surmountable barrier between thoughts and communication.
The irony is that in order to voice my opinion on the inadequacy of language, I must use words.
***
And as you pray in your darkness
For wings to set you free
You are bound to your silent legacy
- Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy"
It is a skill to be able to talk frankly about sexuality. I don't mean talking about sexual relations, necessarily, but about sexual orientation and identity. It is surprisingly easy to come across as arrogant, prudish, forced, or attention seeking. Many people who speak candidly about their sexuality are seen as exhibitionists with no regard for proper social conduct.
It is not the stigma of deviancy that intimidates and overshadows my writing. Rather, my fear is that I am not deviant enough to share my story. My upbringing was normal, routine, and for the most part, uneventful. I don't like talking about my mental institution years primarily because to see the words makes me feel as though I'm just another attention hungry teenager striving for someone's pity -- the falseness of which I need not clarify.
I am an astonishingly, painfully normal human being. I live in an average house with my parents, who quarrel quite often, and we own an old but functional car. I share my quarters with a cat who sleeps for 60% of the day, I enjoy reading classic novels and filling sketchbooks with decent artwork. Even my penchant for reading tarot cards and collecting crystal skulls is far from abnormal. I've had run-ins with the mental health system -- who hasn't? -- and I have frequent, but normal nightmares. I play chess horribly and can't flirt to save my life, although I'm certainly not above checking out the assets of either sex.
My point being, we are human. There is no way, in this generation, for us to develop a language which allows every person to express their thoughts and mental pictures accurately and sufficiently. There is no way we can abolish assumptions and prejudices, no more than we can abolish perversion or crime. Words are as inadequate as emotions, hearsay is as inadequate as pictorial evidence, apologies are as inadequate as silence.
In my experience, if you call a person normal these days, they are mildly to extremely offended -- how dare someone assume they have not suffered, how dare someone assume that they are nothing more than another sheep! When I was younger, I held this concept in highest regard. I was a deviant, I was abnormal, I was an aberration and a flaw. But as I grew older, I finally opened my eyes and looked at the world around me, and was depressed to discover that I was no more abnormal than any other phylum of people. It took a while to get over myself and gain a little humility about my existence.
But there is something very important that I have learned over the years; something which I have often tried to make my mantra, and something which I have tried to teach others by my own example.
We are all sheep. We cannot turn into goats, or horses, no matter how hard we try. No matter how prejudiced your minority is, whether you were born into it or chose it, I would like to point out a crucial flaw in the reasoning of those who believe themselves apart from society.
Black sheep...are still sheep.
Out of all the controversial subjects I could have covered, this one is painfully near the knuckle. As I so flippantly put it in a comment; "NAMBLA comes equipped with its own ten-foot pole. I just have to poke it."
The Catholics hotly protest evolution, abortion, and homosexuality. The feminists picket Pro-Choice. The humanitarians rage about inequality and low wages. The SPCA adamantly detests euthanasia and the mistreatment of animals.
But for the rest of us, there are a few things that strike hard, no matter your religion or political views. (Footnote: Yes, there are cultures and religions in the world where these things are passe. I will not contest that.)
Murder.
Incest.
Slavery.
Pedophilia.
Many a friend has heard me joke about pedophilia and "pedos". Some of us have an odd inside joke with no discernible origin, identifying me as a pedo. And, although many would be shocked or disgusted to hear it, I have written fiction about the above topics -- including pedophilia! -- in a neutral or culturally-positive light.
I have written about 16 year olds initiating romantic trysts with beings equivalent to their 40's. I have written about slightly older individuals becoming involved with immortals. I have written contextually appropriate rape, I have written countless murders and mutilations, and yes, I have written consensual incest.
This goes back to the age old question, however, of whether a writer is capable of performing the acts their characters accomplish, and isn't part of the topic.
My point is, I have mental experience with disturbing realities, and many speculative opinions therein. They may not all be "acceptable", but they're mine.
Now, to begin. Were a typical 25 year old woman to become sexually involved with a typical 40 year old man, and were they both to show honest signs that they loved and appreciated each other, or desired to be wed, I imagine there would be little complaint. Perhaps one might think she's a little young and he's a little old, but hey, they're in love. Age doesn't matter, right?
Wrong. Or at least according to the conscientious public. The protest against groups like NAMBLA and individuals who share the same sentiments has its theories in two camps.
One, homosexuality. (Yes, I will get into the "lolita" faction and straight pairings, but lets stay with NAMBLA for a minute.) Not all of the general public believes homosexuality is deviant and wrong, but a great percentage does. I make an assumption that most who believe homosexuality is wrong come from either a religious point of view (ie, the Bible's irrefutable proof) or from a bigoted perspective (those fucking queers).
Two, pedophilia. Take an average restaurant and ask everyone inside whether they believe pedophilia is wrong, and even if some of them don't agree that its disturbing, nearly every person will voice their disgust. Its not a socially acceptable thing to agree with. And who can blame them? To be outed as a pedophile, even in lawless chaos-zones such as prisons, is a sentence of harassment and verbal abuse at best. It seems the last frontier for those who get their rocks off on the young population is on the various (and nefarious) "chans".
On websites such as 4chan and 7chan, the content is there in relatively small quantities. (ORLY? I can hear you inquire. I compare the content to sites that are made for pedophiles, such as 12chan, not4chan, and the self-explanatory loli-chan. Seriously. Don't Google.) An equal haven -- if not a resource -- is of course, the NAMBLA homepage.
NAMBLA.org makes it sound so wonderful. In well written introductions they explain that their association is blatantly against rape and coercion, and that they seek to abolish age-of-consent laws so that boys who love men (and vice versa) can be free as themselves without the social stigma of OMG PEDO.
It all sounds good and well, but unfortunately, the group has been the breeding ground for criminals: rapists and kidnappers out for a non-consensual thrill or two. Or five. Or thirty.
I don't want to send my money to a controversial organization like NAMBLA, but I admit a great deal of curiosity over their published manuscript, Boys Speak Out On Man/Boy Love. It has manifestos, confessions, and essays written by boys ranging in age from 11 to 19. The topics vary from "We Should Be Able To Have The Relationships We Want" by George, age 17, to such innocuous chapter titles as "Sex Is Really Beautiful With My Friend" by a 13 year-old. I wonder what these boys speak about, and whether they really understand it. Whether they're really ready for this kind of maturity.
Herein lies the problem. The only reason I can't say definitively whether pedophilia should be as ostracized as it is: are they really mature enough, and how can you tell?
At 17, I'm mature enough to admit that I'm not ready for a sexual relationship, and likely will not be for many, many years. This is due in part to my past and part to my philosophy. But, this is only me. Its not to say other teenagers of either gender might not have matured faster mentally, or been brought up in entirely different situations.
As a general rule, I am vaguely disturbed by pedophilia. As a not so general rule, I am notably more disturbed by relations between an adult and a pre-pubescent child, more so than if a middle-aged man were to date a 17 year old. I read a great deal of Lolita before I got distracted by other novels, and I have to admit I was more repelled by the girl's behavior than I was by the narrator's.
To put it in short; although it is a fine and unmeasurable line between being a child and being an adolescent, and finer still the line between capable-and-consenting-adolescent and brainwashed-and-coerced-adolescent, I believe that if the young individual in question truly has the maturity of an adult about the situation and if the couple is truly in love, it isn't quite as bad as the protesters make it out to be.
There has been so much news scandal about pedophilia and kidnapping lately that it seems to portray the 'philes as an ever-growing, worsening problem that must be eradicated. However, the story the media portrays is utterly one-sided. If you're a newscaster, which story do you air; the one about the diversely-aged couple who are madly in love and making a life for themselves, or the one about the pedophile who had a harem of 8 year-olds chained in his basement?
Yeah. Don't even have to answer that one.
I browse the various "chan" sites and go through the emotional spectrum over and over. Disgusted. Curious. Laughing. Repulsed. Angry. Amused. My views on controversies such as pedophilia, if put into the light of what is socially acceptable, border on the line between black lamb and white ewe. When it goes badly, I am disturbed. You never hear about when it goes right. Is that because there are no happy endings...or is it because to them, they are simply as normal as Dick and Jane Everycouple?
I suppose we'll never know.
I pity and mourn those who have been hurt by the dregs of society. Those young -- and old -- who have been abused by rapists, criminals, siblings, pedophiles. The fact that I see wrong as wrong doesn't seem to exempt me from the fact that I don't necessarily agree with the general public, and this is why I rarely spoke about my views on the subjects before this. Would you really respect someone after they said, "Yeah, I think NAMBLA has a decent concept, if only it worked in practice"?
I digress. I've overstated my point, and in the end, haven't really said all that much. I still think jokes about me being a pedo are funny, even if they aren't culturally correct. And despite all the repellent flak that comes from man/boy love and related beliefs, I still believe most anything goes as long as no one gets hurt, in the long run or the short.
The Catholics hotly protest evolution, abortion, and homosexuality. The feminists picket Pro-Choice. The humanitarians rage about inequality and low wages. The SPCA adamantly detests euthanasia and the mistreatment of animals.
But for the rest of us, there are a few things that strike hard, no matter your religion or political views. (Footnote: Yes, there are cultures and religions in the world where these things are passe. I will not contest that.)
Murder.
Incest.
Slavery.
Pedophilia.
Many a friend has heard me joke about pedophilia and "pedos". Some of us have an odd inside joke with no discernible origin, identifying me as a pedo. And, although many would be shocked or disgusted to hear it, I have written fiction about the above topics -- including pedophilia! -- in a neutral or culturally-positive light.
I have written about 16 year olds initiating romantic trysts with beings equivalent to their 40's. I have written about slightly older individuals becoming involved with immortals. I have written contextually appropriate rape, I have written countless murders and mutilations, and yes, I have written consensual incest.
This goes back to the age old question, however, of whether a writer is capable of performing the acts their characters accomplish, and isn't part of the topic.
My point is, I have mental experience with disturbing realities, and many speculative opinions therein. They may not all be "acceptable", but they're mine.
Now, to begin. Were a typical 25 year old woman to become sexually involved with a typical 40 year old man, and were they both to show honest signs that they loved and appreciated each other, or desired to be wed, I imagine there would be little complaint. Perhaps one might think she's a little young and he's a little old, but hey, they're in love. Age doesn't matter, right?
Wrong. Or at least according to the conscientious public. The protest against groups like NAMBLA and individuals who share the same sentiments has its theories in two camps.
One, homosexuality. (Yes, I will get into the "lolita" faction and straight pairings, but lets stay with NAMBLA for a minute.) Not all of the general public believes homosexuality is deviant and wrong, but a great percentage does. I make an assumption that most who believe homosexuality is wrong come from either a religious point of view (ie, the Bible's irrefutable proof) or from a bigoted perspective (those fucking queers).
Two, pedophilia. Take an average restaurant and ask everyone inside whether they believe pedophilia is wrong, and even if some of them don't agree that its disturbing, nearly every person will voice their disgust. Its not a socially acceptable thing to agree with. And who can blame them? To be outed as a pedophile, even in lawless chaos-zones such as prisons, is a sentence of harassment and verbal abuse at best. It seems the last frontier for those who get their rocks off on the young population is on the various (and nefarious) "chans".
On websites such as 4chan and 7chan, the content is there in relatively small quantities. (ORLY? I can hear you inquire. I compare the content to sites that are made for pedophiles, such as 12chan, not4chan, and the self-explanatory loli-chan. Seriously. Don't Google.) An equal haven -- if not a resource -- is of course, the NAMBLA homepage.
NAMBLA.org makes it sound so wonderful. In well written introductions they explain that their association is blatantly against rape and coercion, and that they seek to abolish age-of-consent laws so that boys who love men (and vice versa) can be free as themselves without the social stigma of OMG PEDO.
It all sounds good and well, but unfortunately, the group has been the breeding ground for criminals: rapists and kidnappers out for a non-consensual thrill or two. Or five. Or thirty.
I don't want to send my money to a controversial organization like NAMBLA, but I admit a great deal of curiosity over their published manuscript, Boys Speak Out On Man/Boy Love. It has manifestos, confessions, and essays written by boys ranging in age from 11 to 19. The topics vary from "We Should Be Able To Have The Relationships We Want" by George, age 17, to such innocuous chapter titles as "Sex Is Really Beautiful With My Friend" by a 13 year-old. I wonder what these boys speak about, and whether they really understand it. Whether they're really ready for this kind of maturity.
Herein lies the problem. The only reason I can't say definitively whether pedophilia should be as ostracized as it is: are they really mature enough, and how can you tell?
At 17, I'm mature enough to admit that I'm not ready for a sexual relationship, and likely will not be for many, many years. This is due in part to my past and part to my philosophy. But, this is only me. Its not to say other teenagers of either gender might not have matured faster mentally, or been brought up in entirely different situations.
As a general rule, I am vaguely disturbed by pedophilia. As a not so general rule, I am notably more disturbed by relations between an adult and a pre-pubescent child, more so than if a middle-aged man were to date a 17 year old. I read a great deal of Lolita before I got distracted by other novels, and I have to admit I was more repelled by the girl's behavior than I was by the narrator's.
To put it in short; although it is a fine and unmeasurable line between being a child and being an adolescent, and finer still the line between capable-and-consenting-adolescent and brainwashed-and-coerced-adolescent, I believe that if the young individual in question truly has the maturity of an adult about the situation and if the couple is truly in love, it isn't quite as bad as the protesters make it out to be.
There has been so much news scandal about pedophilia and kidnapping lately that it seems to portray the 'philes as an ever-growing, worsening problem that must be eradicated. However, the story the media portrays is utterly one-sided. If you're a newscaster, which story do you air; the one about the diversely-aged couple who are madly in love and making a life for themselves, or the one about the pedophile who had a harem of 8 year-olds chained in his basement?
Yeah. Don't even have to answer that one.
I browse the various "chan" sites and go through the emotional spectrum over and over. Disgusted. Curious. Laughing. Repulsed. Angry. Amused. My views on controversies such as pedophilia, if put into the light of what is socially acceptable, border on the line between black lamb and white ewe. When it goes badly, I am disturbed. You never hear about when it goes right. Is that because there are no happy endings...or is it because to them, they are simply as normal as Dick and Jane Everycouple?
I suppose we'll never know.
I pity and mourn those who have been hurt by the dregs of society. Those young -- and old -- who have been abused by rapists, criminals, siblings, pedophiles. The fact that I see wrong as wrong doesn't seem to exempt me from the fact that I don't necessarily agree with the general public, and this is why I rarely spoke about my views on the subjects before this. Would you really respect someone after they said, "Yeah, I think NAMBLA has a decent concept, if only it worked in practice"?
I digress. I've overstated my point, and in the end, haven't really said all that much. I still think jokes about me being a pedo are funny, even if they aren't culturally correct. And despite all the repellent flak that comes from man/boy love and related beliefs, I still believe most anything goes as long as no one gets hurt, in the long run or the short.
- Mood:speculative
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